New Comics for Wednesday, July 11th (with commentary).

Zombie War

Von’s Comics in no way endorses the following rant. It is a matter of opinion – however dumb it may be.

An EDITORIAL(that means opinions abound, kids) by the man with a fake leg, a tapeworm, and hairy pinna.

100 Bullets #84
All of them are going into my respect for Dan Didio

30 Days of Night Eben & Stella #3
See how a man who gets brought back from the dead thanks his wife

Alien Pig Farm #4
Image’s editor must smoke some funky stuff sometimes.

Amazing Spider-Girl #10
Spider-Girl’s battle with her red liquid problem continues!

Amory Wars #2
Coheed and Cambria write a comic and you buy it. Pretty simple, no?

Anita Blake VH First Death #1
For all you bare chested vampire lovers.

Annihilation Conquest Wraith #1
This is one blue skinned guy who will smurf you up

Batman Confidential #7
Hey everybody, let’s read a Joker origin! Yay!

Battlestar Galactica Vol 1 PX ED TP
Is that one of their made up cuss words there on the end?

Blade #11
I’m beginning to notice a connection between Marc Guggenheim and cancelled books

B.P.R.D. Garden of Souls #5
Do not #### with Abe Sapien!

Civil War Chronicles #1
Civil War reprinted in chronological order. Hoorah!

Clubbing
DC knows of my fishnet and umbrella fetish!!!

Consumed #1
by vegan dinosaurs on the third moon of pancake mountain with steel pipes aligning the mortuary greatness

Countdown #42
Beware of bald people with dreadlocks if you aren’t supposed to be in this universe

Deadpool /GLI Summer Fun Spectacular
Oh Snap! Squirrel Girl AND Deadpool in their bathing suits!

DMZ #21
New York is the city that doesn’t sleep because it gets bombed more in a few hours than a middle eastern country on a day of an Olklahoma City tragedy

Dragonlance Chronicles Vol. 3 #2
Go read the Dragon Lexicon Triumvirate now!

Elric Making of a Sorcerer
One part magic words, two parts waving of hands, and a dash of rip off of Tolkien

Exiles #96
With Claremont writing it, it’s almost as bad as its Malibu predecessor

Fables #63
Frogs kick @$$!

Fantastic Five #1
M2, there’s more than Spider-Girl in Earth 982!

Forgotten Realms Dark Elf Vol. 4 Crystal Shard TP
I have some of these in a very uncomfortable place, elves not crystal shards

Freshmen Vol 2 Eric Basaldua #6
The freshmen kick the crap out of a kid in a coma

Friday the 13th Pamelas Tale #1
Jason’s parents = jerks

Full Frontal Nerdity Vol 1
Oh now that’s just hot!

Gen 13 #10
When does this book become Gen 27 aging hipster brigade?

Green Arrow Year One #1
Hey let’s read about a blonde rich guy who gets trapped on an island and learns to use a bow and arrows

Green Lantern #21
DC’s greatest villain is a guy with pink skin and a Snidely Whiplash moustache. AWESOME!

Grifter/Midnighter #5
Grifter and Midnighter finally make out in this issue!

Hedge Knight 2 Sworn Sword #2
This is one of the few Dabel brother books without shirtless men on the cover

Hellblazer The Red Right Hand TP
John Constantine wants YOU….to leave him alone

India Authentic Indra #3
Another Virgin offering!

JLA Classified #40
I wonder if Kid Amazo goes nuts and kills everyone if he says his mentor’s name?

Justice Society of America #7
Citizen Steel don’t take no guff

Macedonia GN
Everybody wants this. Will you be one to get it?

Madman Atomic Comics #3
Check this out so you can catch up on all of the madness. OH YE—–AH!!!!

Martha Washington Dies (One-Shot)
Frank Miller likes to kill off his female creations even if the companies they’re owned by bring them back to life later…..or do they?

Marvel Illustrated Man in the Iron Mask #1
Marvel draws something better than Leonardo Dicaprio in this book

New Avengers #32
Skully Mcskrull skrullness skrullutes skrulls skrulling skrulliverse skrullting skrullnies skrullack skrullinkey skrull…….um yeah, exactly.

New Excalibur #21
Making deals with dopplegangers

Nextwave Agents of Hate Vol 2 HC
You have been reading Nextwave….which was cancelled because that was all that you were doing

Nexus #99
No idea what this ones about

Nicolas Cage’s Voodoo Child #1
Mr. Coppola loves collecting comics and Elvis memorabilia…..like his daughter for instance.

Nova #4
In this issue one of the main characters takes a dirt nap. Huh? What do you mean there’s only one main character?

Omega Flight #4
In this issue someone besides the Wrecking Crew beats the crap out of the Omega Flight: one of their own members

Punisher War Journal #9
Frank Castle, now with tights.

Ramayan 3392 AD Vol. 1 TP
That year is pretty far away.

Red Prophet Tales of Alvin Maker #9
Orson Scott Card loves them natives!

Sadhu Vol. 1
Virgin stuff is actually pretty decent in trade.

Shadowpact #15
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH…. a monkey in a hat.

Showcase Presents Batgirl Vol. 1 TP
I wonder if this includes the part where she gets shot and put into a wheelchair

Spawn #169
Spawn has a new direction. It’s the one that takes it as far away from Todd McFarlane as possible.

Spider-Man Loves Mary Jane #20
But he also loves Gwen Stacy. I hope this ends well.

Squadron Supreme: Hyperion vs. Nighthawk TP
Nighthawk kicks some serious alien butt

Star Trek Next Generation The Space Between #6
ENGAGE #####es!

Star Wars Legacy#14
The legacy is about a million sweaty fanboys who smell funny

Star Wars Rebellion #8
The rebellion is all the hot chicks in the metal bikinis

Stephen Colbert’s Tek Jansen #1
Tek Jansen will hopefully do more than land a spacecraft and have alien $&* in this issue

Stormwatch PHD #9
Posthuman, Metahuman…..I smell ripoff

Superman #664
Kurt Busiek writes, you don’t read, and he cries and dies a little on the inside. Just buy his book so the boy can live!

Superman Confidential #5
Kryptonite now with talking capabilities

Tick Comic Con Extravaganza #1
Cool beans!

True Story Swear To God Vol. 1 TP
Swearing to God leads to going to the hot place

Ultimate X-Men #84
ohmygod Robert Kirkman == Kick @r$e

Uncle Sam and the Freedom Fighters TP
Watch DC attempt to ripoff Uncle Sam and Freedom Fighters

Witchblade #108
What’s up with that crazy female armor?

World War Hulk Gamma Corps #1
Oh, these guys are all going to get pounded

X-Factor #21
I’m not a little blonde girl with pigtails, but even I know this book is good

X-Men Phoenix Warsong Premiere HC
A hot blonde cloning farm is

Xombie #3
That’s just bad spelling.

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