New Comics Shipping Wednesday, June 13 (with commentary).

Von’s Comics in no way endorses the following rant. It is a matter of opinion – however dumb it may be.

An EDITORIAL(that means opinions abound, kids) by the man with a fake leg, a tapeworm, and hairy pinna.

Amazing Spider-Girl #9
In this issue, Spider-Girl begins her epic struggle with a red liquid.

Amory Wars #1
That’s a Amory? Moving on.

Avengers Classic #1
Aww man, Captain America isn’t alive in this story either

Batman Confidential #6
Confidentially speaking, Lex Luthor is a Superman villain

Black Diamond #1
Didn’t this come out last week? No, that was something else.

Blade #10
The vampire who kills other vampires. Talk about self loathing.

Blade of the Immortal Vol 17 TP
It’s the blade that belongs to an immortal, what else is there to say?

Boodrayne Raw II
Has to be better than the movie

B.P.R.D. Garden of Souls #4
Watch a Fish Man discover his past and robots

Cable/Deadpool #41
The merc with a mouth, mouths off. ‘Nuff Said.

Conan & The Midnight God #4
These two had a disagreement about the shape of their loincoths. Read the series now.

Countdown #46
Watch that Wanna-be Winter Soldier, Jason Todd, get his @$$ handed to him!

DMZ #20
America sucks! Now you don’t have to read this book but you can still buy it! HOORAY

Drain #4
The story of my bathtub experiences in comic form

Elephantmen Pilot
Elephants, who are men, ARE GOING TO FLY PLANES!? THE APOCALYPSE IS NIGH!

Exiles #95
“What new doom awaits them in the next dysfunctional dimension?” A quote from the official Marvel blurb. I couldn’t write Claremont’s crap if I stuck my head in a toilet with my eyes closed and swallowed whatever happened to float into my mouth.

Fables #62
If this is going to be one of those super long Vertigo series(it reaching Transmet, Invisibles, and Y proportions, perhaps maybe even Hellblazer) Thank god it’s one of the most awesome books around.

Fables Vol 9 Sons of the Empire TP
We ordered 10 of these things and several of them have already been reserved. Come and get’em quick they’re selling like the cakes of the hotness!

Franklin Richards World be Warned #1
Truer words….

Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man #21
Peter David is the only guy using plot points from the other and adding them to the Spider-Man Mythos. His run actually makes picking up the Other TPB worth the buy.

Gen 13 #9
Gail Simone is THE female comics writer. This isn’t her finest work but it’s worth a look.

Gotham Central Vol 5 Dead Robin
A man who wears tights and a cape and throws boomerangs has a problem keeping the orphan boys he finds on the street of a major metropolitan city alive.

Green Arrow #75
No Black Canary! Don’t marry Green Arrow! He’s a man &%! Don’t you see he’s got a 20 something kid born out of wedlock!

Green Lantern Corps #13
I know! Let’s make Guy Gardner our go to guy for problems within interstellar military organization. Man, those little blue guys must smoke stuff the same color as their skin.

Grifter/Midnighter #4
Apollo must be totally jealous!

GTO Early Years Vol 4
He’s helpful, really.

Hack/Slash Series Merhoff CVR B #2
Girls with axes, all men should be afraid

Hawkgirl #65
Is her origin story as confusing as her male counterpart’s? Anyone?

Hellboy Animated Vol 2 Judgement Bell TP
These are pretty awesome little stories. They’re in the same style as some of the better weird tales.

Hero by Night #4
…toilet cleaner by day!

Hulk Planet Hulk HC
$39.99 and you can read the Hulk’s off world gladiator, rebellion, conquering epic!

Iron Man #18
How many times is Tony Stark going to turn into a puddle of red pulp this year? SEE World War Hulk.

JLA Classified #39
Kid Amazo runs amok and the only one who cares is the Justice League

Justice #12
This “two-bit” (quoted from Kevin Smith) painter’s series chronicling what seems to be the grown up version of the Super Friends ends with two covers

Justice League of America Vol 1 HC
Do red robots dream of undead swamp gangsters beating the living $#!% out of them?

Kabuki Reflections #8
Can you believe at one time a movie studio was going to put millions of dollars into making a movie based on this comic with Tia Carrere as the lead? Yeah, me neither, but it’s true.

Loveless #18
A comic for comic fans.

Marvel Illustrated Treasure Island #1
Robert Louis Stevenson is rolling in his grave.

Mystic Arcana Magik
You know, comic book fans have a weird obsession with dead characters.

New Avengers #31
They sent us a warning about how this is an important issue that we might want to order extras of. Just so you know, they did the same thing with that issue of Captain America where he got shot. Not saying it might be important or anything but ya know….

New X-Men #39
Talimaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!

Noble Causes #30
Before anybody buys this book, I want to read it so lay off, but if you buy it fast it might convince us to order more copies so more people can learn of the Noble family’s sordid lives

Nova #3
Did you read the article that was written last week!? BUY THIS BOOK! That’s an order for all new NOVA corps. troops.

Plaqgue of the Living Dead #2
I assure you, it’s supposed to be in same vein as the George Romero movies and not the Return of the Living Dead movies.

Punisher War Journal #8
Frank Castle hates Nazis! You should too, kids!

PVP #34
ROXOR JUBOXOR

Re-Gifters
These people are jerks. Don’t give them anything for Christmas. You’ll get it back on your birthday.

Red Prophet Tales of Alvin Maker #8
Remember that Prophet book back in the early ninties? Me neither. Good thing this book has nothing to with it.

Sam Noir Vol 1 Ronin Detective
Wow so many categories this thing could fit into. It boggles the mind.

Showcase presents the Atom Vol 1 TP
In all of his invincible inchlessness

Sock Monkey The Inches Incident #4
Sock Monkeys badly, repeat, badly decrease size and girth when worn.

Star Wars Legacy #13
This book should be about those legions of human beings who dress up as storm troopers at every con.

Star Wars Rebellion #7
This book should be about those legions of human beings who berate those who dress up as storm troopers at every con.

Stormwatch PHD #8
Stormwatch, it’s eduamacated!

Strangers in Paradise #90
After 90 issues, are they really still “strangers”? Shouldn’t they be, at the very least, Acquaintances in Paradise?

Sub-Mariner #1
If I lived in the place where everybody dumped their $#!%, I’d be really p!$$ed too!

Superman/Batman #36
Watch as Batman fights Superman for top billing. Batman needs a better agent.

Superman Through The Ages
Through the ages he’s been an orphan, a farmboy, a reporter, a WWII veteran, a government pawn, a messiah, an illegal alien, and it goes on and on

Tank Girl The Gifting #1
Remember that movie? OK, now let’s try and forget it ever happened.

Transformers Movie Adaption #2
Anyone seen the Clerks cartoon where the Transformers transform with people inside? God, I hope that’s in the movie.

Trials of Shazam #7
gods, does it suck to be a kid who looks like an old man with gray long hair.

What If Event Horizon TP
…, the movie didn’t suck?

World War Hulk #1
OH SNAP!!! THEY ALL GONNA GET IT! GOOD!

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