Von’s Comics in no way endorses the following rant. It is a matter of opinion – however dumb it may be.
Aliens vs. Predator Omnibus vol. 1 TP
A whole buttload battl’n surely as good as the movie
All New Atom #12
This guy gets the exact opposites of all of the questions Reed Richards gets asked.
Art of Reboot HC
Bob and Enzo are ####$
Avengers: Initiative #3
Curt Connors is a pansy
Batman: Turning Points TP
You might not wanna know where it turns
Battlestar Galactica #10
Oh Nos Cylons!
Battlestar Galactica: Cylon Apocalypse #4
I told you so!
Birds of Prey #107
Pick it up before Simone starts Wonder Woman
Black Diamond Detective Agency TP
Isn’t that an oxymoron?
Black Summer #0
Arrogant Cockney %$&# thinks he can write the best comics and give us a preview. Hmp.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer #4
Watch a skinless guy cut things. What’s wrong with you people?
Bullet Points TP
I hear those hurt
Catwoman: When In Rome TP
…conquer the known world?
Civil War: Iron Man TP
Civil War: Marvel Universe TP
This is the what the Watcher was reading after he showed up in the first issue
Completely Doomed TP
It’s a comic for comic fans
Mary Marvel. Bondage Queen
Cthulhu Tales Rising 1-shot
Alan Moore worships this guy or is that the great serpent Glycon?
Danger Girl: Body Shots #3
I know! Let’s sell books with innuendo out the wazoo!
Daredevil: Battlin’ Jack Murdock #1
Watch Daredevil’s dad get the $%!# kicked out of him
Dark Tower: Gunslinger Born #5
Remember the face of your father, or he might shoot you while you sleep
Darkness: Level 4
Because the other levels just weren’t good enough
Death & The Man Who Would Not Die #1
I’m guessing they had a disagreement?
Detective Comics #833
Who Dini? Ha, get it? It’s a joke with his name and fact hes a magician and…o forget it. Moving on.
Dynamo 5 #4
Watch a bunch of B@$#@##s in tights beat people up
Essential Silver Surfer vol. 2 TP
The best part of being all Silver? No stick surface.
Bugs are tasty with sea salt and vinegar
Fantastic Four: Inhumans TP
Hey it’s two of #####s who sent the Hulk into space
Fear Agent: Last Goodbye #1
Man, I’m scared
Ghost in the Shell 1.5 #8
Japanese Cheesecake. They eat it on Christmas.
Ghost Rider: Trail of Tears #5
Who would have ever thought the spirit of vengeance and Trail of Tears would ever be connected?
GI Joe: America’s Elite #24
Did they ever consider lowering their guns and actually hitting something in the cartoon.
Hulk & Power Pack #4
Hulk smash puny pre-pubescent puke people
$1.99 and one of the best comics around. Also, help out My Name is Earl by bringing the mustache back
Iron Man #18
Also helping Earl
Irredeemable Ant-Man #9
Seriously, the guy’s a jerk which makes it a funny book.
Jack of Fables #11
Seriously, the guy’s a jerk which makes it a funny book. (Yes that is supposed to be there twice.)
Jonah Hex #20
No sir, there is nothing wrong with your face
Justice League Unlimited #34
We all mourn the death of Bruce Timm….What!? He’s alive!?
Lady Death: Art of Juan Jose Ryp
mmmmmmmm, white cheesecake
Lady Death: Queen of the Dead
Hail to the Queen, Jimbo!
Lone Ranger #6
Waitaminute! A member of Power Pack is cool?
Marvel Zombies vs. Army of Darkness #4
Good? Bad? This is the comic with the guy with the gun.
I already know how this is going to end. You buy this book.
MPD Psycho vol. 1 TP
Acronyms will to do that to ya
Ms. Marvel #16
A guy with a big head is in this issue
Mystic Arcana: Book of Marvel Magic
Learn who to call in the Marvel Universe if you want to study the Dark Arts
New Warriors #1
They gonna get it!
Growing up as a preteen ward of a millionaire bachelor may cause you to dress up in lots of black leather as an adult
Omega Flight #3
Betta Ray Bill is a rostefarian? okay?
Year of tha Boomerang. The sisters are in so check the front lines…um yeah, captain boomerang is in this issue and he’s got the hots for a checkmate girl
I don’t understand the title
How do you know if you’ve met the Punisher? If you are a criminal and alive, no.
Raise the Dead #3
Swallow your soul….and your brains and fingers and…well you get the idea
I’m sad too, hold me.
This happened to me once, I found it unenjoyable for the most part.
Seventh Shrine TP
Because we couldn’t afford 8
Simpsons Summer Shindig #1
Yes, party with the Simpsons. I’m sure nothing will happen.
Sock Monkey: The Inches Incident #4
I have one of these. Her name is Suzie. We play hopscotch.
Yeah, Make a deal with the devil that’ll work out real well. Oh well, Mcfarlane got some baseballs out of it.
Spider-man Family #3
Meet all of your favorite Spider-People. Spider-Man and…and…um
Spider-man Loves Mary Jane #19
but he’s seeing that @#$%! Firestar
Starship Troopers Ongoing #1
“Ongoing”? Promises, promises.
Strange Embrace #1
I once had one of these too but we won’t go into details here.
Strange Girl #17
Blonde? Blue-eyed? “Super” people? WAITAMINUTE!
Superior Showcase #2
God I had three children between issues of this book
Watch him mildly struggle against adversity
Supernatural Origins #230
Mine involves three dead frogs, one salami, and can of gasoline
30 Days of Night: Eben & Stella #2
I thought the vampire who had the obsession with numbers was on seasame street
Three Paradoxes GN
It was the chicken, geesh.
Transformers Movie Adaptation #1
Transformers Movie Prequel TP
Transformers Movie TP
More than meets the eye my hindquarters. I could totally tell that giant mechanical scorpion was a robot
Uncanny X-Men #487
Brubaker, you zany guy, you
Ward of the State #2
Rather that than the ward of some millionare who dresses up in tights and takes you into dark alleys all the time.
Welcome To Tranquility #7
Because it’ll only take one bullet for Frank Castle to kill her
Witchblade Manga #4
OH MY GOD, SO KAWAI!
XS Hybrid TP
Toilet paper about a car? I don’t get it.