New Comics Shipping Wednesday, June 6 (with commentary).

Von’s Comics in no way endorses the following rant. It is a matter of opinion – however dumb it may be.

An EDITORIAL(that means opinions abound, kids) by the man with a fake leg, a tapeworm, and hairy pinna.

Alien Pig Farm #2
I once owned one of these but the damn pigs kept dying by air poisoning

Aliens vs. Predator Omnibus vol. 1 TP
A whole buttload battl’n surely as good as the movie

All New Atom #12
This guy gets the exact opposites of all of the questions Reed Richards gets asked.

Art of Reboot HC
Bob and Enzo are ####$

Avengers: Initiative #3
Curt Connors is a pansy

Batman: Turning Points TP
You might not wanna know where it turns

Battlestar Galactica #10
Oh Nos Cylons!

Battlestar Galactica: Cylon Apocalypse #4
I told you so!

Birds of Prey #107
Pick it up before Simone starts Wonder Woman

Black Diamond Detective Agency TP
Isn’t that an oxymoron?

Black Summer #0
Arrogant Cockney %$&# thinks he can write the best comics and give us a preview. Hmp.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer #4
Watch a skinless guy cut things. What’s wrong with you people?

Bullet Points TP
I hear those hurt

Catwoman: When In Rome TP
…conquer the known world?

Civil War: Iron Man TP
$%&@!

Civil War: Marvel Universe TP
This is the what the Watcher was reading after he showed up in the first issue

Completely Doomed TP
It’s a comic for comic fans

Countdown #47
Mary Marvel. Bondage Queen

Cthulhu Tales Rising 1-shot
Alan Moore worships this guy or is that the great serpent Glycon?

Danger Girl: Body Shots #3
I know! Let’s sell books with innuendo out the wazoo!

Daredevil: Battlin’ Jack Murdock #1
Watch Daredevil’s dad get the $%!# kicked out of him

Dark Tower: Gunslinger Born #5
Remember the face of your father, or he might shoot you while you sleep

Darkness: Level 4
Because the other levels just weren’t good enough

Death & The Man Who Would Not Die #1
I’m guessing they had a disagreement?

Detective Comics #833
Who Dini? Ha, get it? It’s a joke with his name and fact hes a magician and…o forget it. Moving on.

Dynamo 5 #4
Watch a bunch of B@$#@##s in tights beat people up

Essential Silver Surfer vol. 2 TP
The best part of being all Silver? No stick surface.

Exterminators #18
Bugs are tasty with sea salt and vinegar

Fantastic Four: Inhumans TP
Hey it’s two of #####s who sent the Hulk into space

Fear Agent: Last Goodbye #1
Man, I’m scared

Ghost in the Shell 1.5 #8
Japanese Cheesecake. They eat it on Christmas.

Ghost Rider: Trail of Tears #5
Who would have ever thought the spirit of vengeance and Trail of Tears would ever be connected?

GI Joe: America’s Elite #24
Did they ever consider lowering their guns and actually hitting something in the cartoon.

Hulk & Power Pack #4
Hulk smash puny pre-pubescent puke people

Invincible #42
$1.99 and one of the best comics around. Also, help out My Name is Earl by bringing the mustache back

Iron Man #18
Also helping Earl

Irredeemable Ant-Man #9
Seriously, the guy’s a jerk which makes it a funny book.

Jack of Fables #11
Seriously, the guy’s a jerk which makes it a funny book. (Yes that is supposed to be there twice.)

Jonah Hex #20
No sir, there is nothing wrong with your face

Justice League Unlimited #34
We all mourn the death of Bruce Timm….What!? He’s alive!?

Lady Death: Art of Juan Jose Ryp
mmmmmmmm, white cheesecake

Lady Death: Queen of the Dead
Hail to the Queen, Jimbo!

Lone Ranger #6
YeeeHaw!

Loners #3
Waitaminute! A member of Power Pack is cool?

Marvel Zombies vs. Army of Darkness #4
Good? Bad? This is the comic with the guy with the gun.

Midnighter #8
I already know how this is going to end. You buy this book.

MPD Psycho vol. 1 TP
Acronyms will to do that to ya

Ms. Marvel #16
A guy with a big head is in this issue

Mystic Arcana: Book of Marvel Magic
Learn who to call in the Marvel Universe if you want to study the Dark Arts

New Warriors #1
They gonna get it!

Nightwing #133
Growing up as a preteen ward of a millionaire bachelor may cause you to dress up in lots of black leather as an adult

Omega Flight #3
Betta Ray Bill is a rostefarian? okay?

Outsiders #48
Year of tha Boomerang. The sisters are in so check the front lines…um yeah, captain boomerang is in this issue and he’s got the hots for a checkmate girl

PS238 #23
I don’t understand the title

Punisher #48
How do you know if you’ve met the Punisher? If you are a criminal and alive, no.

Raise the Dead #3
Swallow your soul….and your brains and fingers and…well you get the idea

Sadhu #8
I’m sad too, hold me.

Scalped #6
This happened to me once, I found it unenjoyable for the most part.

Seventh Shrine TP
Because we couldn’t afford 8

Simpsons Summer Shindig #1
Yes, party with the Simpsons. I’m sure nothing will happen.

Sock Monkey: The Inches Incident #4
I have one of these. Her name is Suzie. We play hopscotch.

Spawn #168
Yeah, Make a deal with the devil that’ll work out real well. Oh well, Mcfarlane got some baseballs out of it.

Spider-man Family #3
Meet all of your favorite Spider-People. Spider-Man and…and…um

Spider-man Loves Mary Jane #19
but he’s seeing that @#$%! Firestar

Starship Troopers Ongoing #1
“Ongoing”? Promises, promises.

Strange Embrace #1
I once had one of these too but we won’t go into details here.

Strange Girl #17
See above.

Supergirl #18
Blonde? Blue-eyed? “Super” people? WAITAMINUTE!

Superior Showcase #2
God I had three children between issues of this book

Superman #663
Watch him mildly struggle against adversity

Supernatural Origins #230
Mine involves three dead frogs, one salami, and can of gasoline

30 Days of Night: Eben & Stella #2
I thought the vampire who had the obsession with numbers was on seasame street

Three Paradoxes GN
It was the chicken, geesh.

Transformers Movie Adaptation #1
Transformers Movie Prequel TP
Transformers Movie TP
More than meets the eye my hindquarters. I could totally tell that giant mechanical scorpion was a robot

Uncanny X-Men #487
Brubaker, you zany guy, you

Ward of the State #2
Rather that than the ward of some millionare who dresses up in tights and takes you into dark alleys all the time.

Welcome To Tranquility #7
LIES!

Witchblade/Punisher 1-shot
Because it’ll only take one bullet for Frank Castle to kill her

Witchblade Manga #4
OH MY GOD, SO KAWAI!

XS Hybrid TP
Toilet paper about a car? I don’t get it.

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